we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize