Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
