Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
