yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
