how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My life is pants optional.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
