did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
