please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
