Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
