OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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