I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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