He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
