You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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