I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
