I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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