so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
