I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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