One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
