Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
