he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
