i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize