Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
