my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
