3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Randomize
