U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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