what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
