Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
