no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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