There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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