I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
