id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
