she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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