the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
