i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
