glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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