She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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