I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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