Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
