i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
