remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
