Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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