Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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