i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
