Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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