So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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