It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
