After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
