But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
