I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
