we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
