i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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