So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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