my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
