Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Randomize
