Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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