I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
