I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Less talking, more tequila
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
