hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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