Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
try to milk me bitch
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
