Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
