found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
