Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
