They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
