Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize