Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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