please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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