She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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