FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
