You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
