We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
