Screwed.edu
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize