I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I love you.
Bad choice
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
